Facing forward

I have realized recently that I am thinking backwards. I tend to dwell on retrospect. What happened. Or what could of have happened. Or more judgmentally, what should have happened. This is and always has been my natural state of being.

Makes for some pretty unhealthy thoughts and feelings. Which can, at times, lead to some pretty unhealthy actions (I’m looking at you ice sandwich binge of ’09).

So, in the interest of living a fuller and healthier tomorrow, I’ve been working on myself alot. And one of the things I’m trying to do is take all those thoughts of the past and regrets and judgements and swing them into something positive for the future.

So far, this process has been good. I’m getting out of debt. I’m saving for retirement. I’m saving for life’s unplanned moments (like this week’s $500 medical bill!). I’ve paused on drinking. I’m working on healthier relationships with food. I’m walking at least once a week with a friend. I’m trying to get myself back into a yoga practice (on temporary pause until the hives dissipate). I’m getting organized at work. I’ve made good progress in these areas, and I’m working for better.

Well, there’s a new step forward in town: dating. That’s right, I’m dating again. Have I gone on a date? Nope. Will I this week ¬†or next? Doubtful. But I’m putting it out there. And I’m trying to find ways to put myself in situations to meet new people. I’m moving forward instead of dwelling in past relationships that are over. Time to pick up and move on.

So, I hope you’re ready of a large number of hilariously bad date stories. As I’m confident there will be a good chunk on the horizon.

Wish me well!


Accountability Confessions

This weekend was bad for my budget. And since this blog is intended to keep me honest about my debt repayment, it’s time to confess my sins.

  1. I invited a co-worker out on Saturday. We went to a restaurant. I did both of those things knowing I had NO CASH to spend on such activities. $15 out the door
  2. My friend and I took our annual trip to the Outlet Mall and got Shamrock Shakes from McDonald’s. We also got lunch at Sonic (because we were desperate and at the Outlet Mall). I spent $90 on two dress, $4 at Sonic, and $2.50 at McDonald’s. None of these things were in my budget. They all went on my credit card. I sent the payment in the moment I got home. But that money is coming from savings, not allocated funds.

I’m trying to think deep and hard about why I did these things. Part of it has to do with a need to fell social. I haven’t been doing much since I decided to hunker down on my debt repayment. The other part has to do with the fact that I am a sucker for Outlet Malls. And I really wanted new dresses to wear to work. And now I have them. So I can wear them, and hopefully, feel more put together rather than slob like.